The Sky Steward found this hilarious post on Flyertalk.com, one of his favorite websites! The Sky Steward also makes a 'tongue-in-cheek' suggestion for responding to such ridiculousness:
Dear Sirs,
I was a passenger on your flight XXX from XXX to London last night. On arrival at the airport, I had expected to find your flight cancelled due to the inclement weather in the UK, but to my surprise was advised that the flight was operating on time. This came as a shock since I had seen numerous news reports that airports in London had closed, and had accordingly rescheduled my meetings for the next day.The flight departed on time and arrived in London 30 minutes ahead of schedule. As a result of this, I have been forced to incur costs of £80 in taxi fares due to non-operation of trains, plus lost productivity for my rescheduled meetings. Under EU regulations, your company is liable for these damages and expenses.I also note that British Airways took the prudent step of cancelling their flight on the same route and were courteous enough to place all their passengers in hotel accomodation and not risk their lives on the icy roads in London. I have always flown British Airways in the past and had been reccomended to your airline, but after this incident I can assure you that I would never travel with you again and also ensure that none of my friends and family consider traveling with you.
Yours sincerely,
Lee XXXXX
0790XXXXXXXX
The Sky Steward believes in providing the best possible service to customers. However, he does take delight in offering a suggested form letter (repurposed content) for silly complaints such as this.
Dear Sir,We at XXX airlines are extremely sorry about the inconvenience our service has caused you. We understand that you would like some sort of compensation.
I am Nancy Yaya Kouaku, besides being a customer service representative at XXX Airlines, I am the only daughter of late Mr. and Mrs. Yaya Kouaku. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan; the economic capital of Ivory Coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip.My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on 12 February 2008 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of Four million ,five hundred thousand United State Dollars.USD($4.500,000) left in a suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan ,that he used my name as his only Daughter for the next of Kin in depositing of the fund. He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates.
As you know, times are tough in the airline business. The only way for me to compensate you will be to give you a portion of this money being held in the bank account. Help me, help you! Please, provide us a bank account into which this money would be transferred to so that I may compensate you ASAP!After the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas, and once you have deducted your compensation (considering the severity of your inconvenience, please deduct up to $500,000), you must send us the rest within 24 hours, or we will have to rescind our offer and bill you for our time in dealing with your particular situation.
We look forward to serving you in the future.
Regards,
XXXXX XXXXXX
XXX Airlines
Customer Service
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